So she has this song “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” and I am very impressed. This girl is, what? Twenty-two? I wish I had had her insight at that age. There’s one line that says “I’m really gonna miss you picking fights, And me, falling for it screaming that I’m right”. I didn’t know picking fights was a go-to code of conduct for the emotionally incapable. See, what these people do is exactly that: pick a fight, say something mean or anything to get you going. Then, expecting exactly the reaction they receive, they are perversely satisfied. Because they have to be pissed off at something, and you’re an easy target.
I’m not sure what gets these people off. Why would you want to have a fight or hurt someone? I’m a pretty passionate gal, but I don’t enjoy fights. The thing is, people like this are so pissed off at themselves they have to direct that onto someone else. Then, when they snag you into having a fight they can say to themselves, “See? This is why I’m angry. It’s THIS person’s fault.”
The thing is, you react in indignation “screaming that you’re right” because you feel the need to show the other person the illogic of their position. And what an immature person doesn’t realize is that the person picking the fight does not care about logic, nor can they recognize it.
What fight-pickers don’t realize is that even if there is a thorn in your side, a legitimate ongoing hurt for which no one would fault you for having a hard time, your happiness is solely up to you. You choose whether you’re going to treat people in love or not. If someone calls you an idiot every single morning, you can choose to get hurt by it or you can choose to be happy in spite of it. If your spouse screws off, you have a choice to forgive that person and not let it ruin your life, or be fearful of being in another relationship. Even if someone kills your loved one, you still have a choice. Your choice is just harder.
I’m not making light of true challenges. However, if you’re picking fights with people just because you feel discontent, you’re just proving you’re not a strong person. And for that, you deserve to be pitied.
Taylor Swift has it right, and I congratulate her for learning that lesson more than a decade before me. Silly.