The Friends Who Keep You From Being Lame

LamePeople start veering into lame once they start having kids. They don’t stay out late, they have to arrange weeks in advance to see friends, they won’t have a glass of wine because they have to get up early the next day, and they just don’t want to go out as much. I always find it strange and remarkable when people with children are the opposite of this – when they go out as much as they used to before kids. Age certainly has something to do with it, but I think too it’s just that we start scaling down our social lives unnecessarily after we’ve procreated.

Obviously there is a lot to be said for just being tired. I always brag that my kid would be a gold medalist in the Sleeping Olympics, but I can certainly appreciate how children just tire you out so that when you actually do get free time you’re hardly up for going out; you just want to sit on the couch. Although I have a pretty calm child, I never, ever just sit down on the couch and do my own thing during the day. Ever. And that’s saying something because there are a lot of hours in the day, and what can these little humans possibly need that keeps you moving so much?

I’ve never been super energetic about going out, but I admit I like that I have the excuse of a child to keep me at home sometimes. However, I think parents have to be careful to keep their friendships thriving, particularly with those who do not have kids. I always think, if one day I cannot have a stimulating conversation with my dear sophisticated friends who I have known for decades, who have no children, live a very cosmopolitan lifestyle and can make conversation about anything, then I’ve really lost it and I’ve become a supremely boring person. In other words, have more going on in your life than just your kids and your marriage. Everyone will be happier.

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