People start veering into lame once they start having kids. They don’t stay out late, they have to arrange weeks in advance to see friends, they won’t have a glass of wine because they have to get up early the next day, and they just don’t want to go out as much. I always find it strange and remarkable when people with children are the opposite of this – when they go out as much as they used to before kids. Age certainly has something to do with it, but I think too it’s just that we start scaling down our social lives unnecessarily after we’ve procreated.
Obviously there is a lot to be said for just being tired. I always brag that my kid would be a gold medalist in the Sleeping Olympics, but I can certainly appreciate how children just tire you out so that when you actually do get free time you’re hardly up for going out; you just want to sit on the couch. Although I have a pretty calm child, I never, ever just sit down on the couch and do my own thing during the day. Ever. And that’s saying something because there are a lot of hours in the day, and what can these little humans possibly need that keeps you moving so much?
I’ve never been super energetic about going out, but I admit I like that I have the excuse of a child to keep me at home sometimes. However, I think parents have to be careful to keep their friendships thriving, particularly with those who do not have kids. I always think, if one day I cannot have a stimulating conversation with my dear sophisticated friends who I have known for decades, who have no children, live a very cosmopolitan lifestyle and can make conversation about anything, then I’ve really lost it and I’ve become a supremely boring person. In other words, have more going on in your life than just your kids and your marriage. Everyone will be happier.