Monthly Archives: June 2011

Never Say Never

No, I’m not a Bieber fan, though I can guarantee if I was 20 years younger I’d be all over that.

Really, I think more people should say never more often. You know, have some tenacity about things. If you say it out loud you’re more likely to stick to it, because otherwise your very word is at stake.

As such, I would like to say 6 things that I would never do. These things are not just a matter of theory; I have had the opportunity to do otherwise and have made the decision not to. For example, I won’t say I would never have an abortion. I’d like to think I wouldn’t, but I haven’t been put in that position, so I’ll leave it.

  • Live in Denmark again. Exotic, right? Okay, you try it for a few years. Tell me what you think. (Love you, my Danish friends…)
  • Cheat on my partner. Even entertaining the notion is a real pussy thing to do. So is putting yourself in a situation where you could find yourself in a position to do it.
  • Paint my finger nails. I’ve done it before when I was a kid, but now I can’t get past the long list of horrendous chemicals in polish. I mean, you suck your fingers on occasion, right? It’s also because I don’t like the look on me. On other people, fine.
  • Wear Earrings. I had my ears pierced when I was ten, and fainted. Then they got infected and I vowed never to wear them again. I can’t even hold earrings. Actually, I don’t wear any jewellry. Once again, on other people, fine.
  • Smoke pot or tobacco. The former is embarrassing and something best left to the one-off party or 14-year-old boys. The latter I’ve tried in the past when inebriated, and is grossly unappealing.
  • Say there is no God. Not because I’ve been taught the opposite my whole life, but because I’ve seen God in ways I can’t explain. Life doesn’t make sense to me outside of this fact.

Anything you know you would never do? Or would you never say never?

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