Do you ever wonder how you might change if something really terrible happened to you? If maybe you would turn into the very sort of person you’ve always despised if your circumstances became unfavourable?
I had a conversation today with a friend who questioned how someone wonderful can do a one-eighty and become someone completely different, for no reason. How does this happen? Were they always a terrible person? Are we all rotten to the core unless things are going our way? Are we all capable of an about-face if life hands us something bad? What goes on in a person’s mind when they are doing something awful to another human being?
It’s perplexing in a wife who is head over heels for her husband on their wedding day and then two years later has an affair and leaves. Or a close co-worker who sells you out to management to secure a promotion for himself. More specifically, people who do these things and never make amends for them.
Terrible people will not recognize that they are doing terrible things. And if they do, they always have an excuse for their actions. Terrible people will always be able to tell themselves that they are right because they don’t want to believe they are terrible. Because to know you are a terrible person would make you want to kill yourself.
Which is why the unfaithful wife will tell herself that her husband didn’t treat her right and she never loved him anyway. It’s why the backstabbing co-worker will tell himself that he needs to put food on the table for his kids.
I have seen people do awful things to loved ones. Most people do awful things because they are miserable. And everyone can justify themselves. Some people never right their wrongs, never achieve insight or accept responsibility for the pain they’ve caused.
In my opinion, it comes down to how emotionally healthy you are. No one will ever admit they are a miserable person. They will always say their misery comes from something or someone else. But a person who is well will, after a short time, achieve some enlightenment and perspective and set about not committing terrible things over and over.
How honest do you want to be about yourself? Like I’ve said before, I believe it is ALWAYS easier to apologize than to bullheadedly justify your actions.
Plus, ultimately, we all know you miserable humans secretly hate yourselves. It takes an honourable person to admit that and get help.
Why on earth wouldn’t you?