People are always going to bug you. Why, there’s someone sitting beside me right now who’s chipping away at the last of my well-worn patience… Ha! Just kidding, you-whose-name-I-won’t-mention-here-lest-we-know-people-in-common!
But seriously, I am pretty annoying myself. I know this because my husband tells me so. I do annoying things (like putting my stray hairs on the side of the shower after shampooing so it doesn’t go down the drain but not gathering them up afterwards) and I have annoying personality traits (like expressing my opinions more emphatically than is comfortable for a low-key guy like him). I’m sure other people think I’m annoying, too, but no one else has ever told me. I don’t say this to put myself down, rather because I know every person is annoying to somebody. It’s what makes life interesting.
No one had ever told me they didn’t like me, nor had I ever heard of anyone not liking me, until I was in my late twenties. This is not to say that no one disliked me before then, I had just never heard of it. The person who first made me aware of their distaste was a co-worker of mine who could barely muster a grimace in my general direction when we saw each other in passing at work. I have my theories as to why this person didn’t care for me, but I honestly don’t know for sure. We never had any meaningful interaction whatsoever.
I can either be hurt, or just slightly put off if people don’t like me, depending on the level of respect I have for them. There are those whose opinions carry so little weight that I can only be amused by the fact. It’s not that I don’t care if I’ve put someone off – I don’t want to put anyone off. And I certainly don’t want to hurt anyone or be rude. But if I’ve thought about it honestly and I’ve come up scratching my head, then I can’t be bothered to waste any more energy on it. I just don’t care.
I find I care less and less the older I get. I used to be very concerned that everyone think me as delightful as I think myself.
It’s not about not caring what people think about you. Everyone cares, and I most certainly do. But some people just don’t make the cut.
The person beside me does make the cut, by the way.