It’s no wonder men are so often cavalier about health and their appearance. There are so many more things women have to deal with that men rarely encounter.
I am discovering that the myths, for instance, are true about one’s body after childbearing. I have spoken of this before, and I won’t repeat it. Nobody wants me to go OVER AND OVER my body issues, like it’s something I’m so hard done by. But it bears repeating that when women so famously lament of breasts deflating, guts inflating and pee escaping (isn’t anyone else more incontinent than before? You sneeze and – surprise! No?) it is no joke. Nobody really talks about it because it sounds, I don’t know, ungrateful somehow. And, yes, in the light of eternity, the fact that things aren’t as tight as they were before baby is not quite deserving of hard feelings. It’s just that there’s truth to those tales, and unless you’re Superwoman or a celebrity you’re likely to have suffered the effects of one of them.
But let’s not forget the ladies who haven’t borne children. Eventually, every female experiences frozen hands and feet, razor rash on the bikini line, spider veins, heightened sensitivity and moodiness, bloating so egregious as to appear pregnant or cramps from the menses (my mom doesn’t say PERIOD, she says MENSES). And extra aesthetic delights like muffin tops , ass dimples, mottled knees and disadvantaged bosoms are only exacerbated by the fact that women can’t get away with baggy clothes like men can, lest we be dowdy. And we all know loose clothing hides a multitude of sins. No wonder if I tell my husband or my brother that they’re looking thick around the middle they just pat their bellies, stick ’em out farther and spear another smokie. Such PRIDE in not measuring up to perfection.
Of course, women could learn a thing or two from men’s lackadaisical attitudes. I don’t mean to get deep on you, but if girls didn’t put so much emphasis on their shortcomings, nothing would be said of them.
But, in the spirit of evening things out, let’s think of superficial things women have going for them that men don’t. Like makeup. When we get a pimple, we can hide it. We don’t have to check our hairlines from our nineteenth birthday onward. We can highlight our hair to bring out the colour in our eyes. We can stuff our bras. We can take a sick day when the menses hit. And we can complain to our friends about said burdens.
Going forward, I shall attempt to remind myself often that the reason God gave women so much baggage is so that they can be an example of better health and sharpened self-awareness.
In a way, varicose veins beget yin and yang.