I Have Stretch Marks

They’re as a result of pregnancy. A pregnancy where I grew so far out front that my skin hurt. You know how Kate Gosselin had to put Vaseline on her belly when she was expecting the sextuplets because of stretch-induced burns? Well, I can appreciate how that can happen, even though I was only bearing a singleton. Don’t laugh.

I’m convinced the reason I was an unlucky recipient of this dermal decoration is that I have very dry skin. I know, doctors will say that it’s just luck of the draw, genetics. But all my friends with lush skin don’t have any.

I first got stretch marks when I was around thirteen when I must have grown a lot in a short period of time. Those ones are on the sides of my butt, but they’ve turned white and they’re not that obvious. And, really, not many can boast of seeing my butt regularly. That precious gift is enjoyed only by my husband, my baby daughter and my cat. (And sometimes, perhaps, by the neighbours if I’ve neglected to lower the blinds, something that annoys my husband to no end but in my mind is no biggie and I’d be hard pressed to say why I secretly think it’s funny to give them a peep show…). I’m hopeful my belly ones eventually fade the same way, though it’s already been six months and they’re still red.

I shouldn’t really care about my stretch marks because I got something far better in return for my six-pack: my daughter. But if I’m anything like the women of the 90’s who Alyssa Milano described when she said “We want it all!” on Who’s The Boss? then I, too, want my old belly back. I want it all!

(Doesn’t anyone remember that episode?)

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One response to “I Have Stretch Marks

  1. Pingback: Why don’t men get varicose veins? « Gentle Ranting

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